


this city's gonna break my heart

by amory



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bella the dog is her own character, Best Friends, Breaking Up & Making Up, Bucket List, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Jealous Harry, Jealous Louis, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Nanny Harry, New York City, Professor Louis, Roommates, Singer Harry, Strangers to Lovers, generally just boys being stupid, too much talking on fire escapes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 05:16:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14867330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amory/pseuds/amory
Summary: “We can still be friends,” Harry continues. “Just, like, with benefits, yeah? Nothing changes, not really.”Louis could almost laugh. Nothing changes, except adding sex into it. Surely that won't complicate things.Louis is a college professor with a string of failed relationships, and Harry has just given up everything to move across the ocean and chase his dreams. They meet by chance in New York one summer afternoon, and quickly make a deal that changes both of their lives.





	this city's gonna break my heart

It takes a lot for Louis to get up and out of his bed on a Saturday afternoon. After five days spent running between three different universities, teaching everyone from bored looking freshman right out of high school to the far too passionate grad students, all he wants to do is stay wrapped up in his sheets and watch hours upon hours of telly until his work catches up with him.

Which is why it’s a complete anomaly that he finds himself in Brooklyn the night everything changes, a blanket under one arm, and his best mate Liam at his side. The Brooklyn Bridge stands out against the setting sun, the sky behind it turning a combination of purples and pinks, and Louis has to practically drag Liam away before he just continues standing there, staring.

“Soph always loved the Brooklyn Bridge,” he sighs sadly.

Louis groans. “Her and literally everyone else, Li. That’s a dollar, by the way.”

Liam rolls his eyes and reaches into his back pocket, coming out with one slightly crumpled dollar bill. “I hate you,” he says.

“No, you don’t,” Louis laughs, carefully folding his new dollar into his wallet.

They make their way into the park slowly, stuck behind a group of eager looking teenagers who take every opportunity for another selfie. Louis sneaks by them, holding tight to his box of pizza and making sure Liam follows. As they get closer, Louis can hear a DJ playing loud booming music and wonders how exactly he got dragged into this.

Liam gets weird during breakups, and by weird Louis means a bit clingy. It’s been two weeks, but the poor sod can’t seem to get his mind off of her. Louis has been absolutely swamped with work as the fall semester has just started, leaving him with a too full inbox and too many papers to grade for it only being the end of August. By accident, he’s sort of abandoned Liam in his time of need, and he feels awful about it. That’s really how he’s found himself here-about to watch Pretty in Pink in a park at sundown with a crowd full of Brooklyn hipsters.

It really won’t be all that bad, Louis decides. Especially now that he’s started charging Liam for every mention of his ex-girlfriend’s name.

The lawn where the movie is showing is already filling up, but Liam is quick to find them a good spot for their blanket, close but not too close. Louis sits down and opens the pizza box immediately, refusing to wait for Liam to fix the corners of their blankets just right and unload the beer. He kicks his shoes off and picks a slice with just enough pepperoni.

“You know,” Louis says, through a mouthful of cheese and sauce. “This is basically a date.”

Liam sputters out a laugh and shakes his head. “Shut up, Louis.”

Louis smiles. “Want a slice?”

Deeming their blanket perfect enough, Liam sits down beside Louis and reaches in for a slice while Louis sorts out their beverage situation. He’s brought just enough beer to get himself and Liam both tipsy, not that they need to be. Pretty in Pink is already one of Louis’ favorite movies, he’s sure the alcohol is just going to make him that much more into it.

“To us,” Louis says, passing Liam a beer and clinking them together. “And to this beautiful first date. You really know how to woo a guy, Li.”

Liam turns a bit pink and shakes his head. He’s picking at the blanket, eyes staring determinedly ahead. “I just thought it’d be fun, that’s all. I needed to get out of the flat before I lost it, y’know?”

Louis sighs and nods, looking to where Liam is. Across the river, downtown is sparkling against the sky. Somewhere in that mess of lights is Louis’ flat, full of papers that need to be graded, and his god awful roommate who no doubt has brought another girl home that’ll eat all of Louis’ food from the fridge. But Louis isn’t thinking about that-he’s thinking about Liam, his best mate through everything, and his problems-

And then he shrieks because something is sitting on his leg.

“What the fuck is that?” Louis gasps.

Liam coos, “Aw, it’s a puppy!

“I think it’s a rat,” Louis corrects him.

The rat dog stares up at Louis, one paw still on his leg. It is actually sort of cute, Louis supposes. It looks a bit like a puffball come to life, with long brown hair, a lighter brown face, and ears that are far too big for its head, which is tilted to one side. It stares right at Louis as if saying, _Hi._

“Hello,” Louis replies. “What do you want?”

Rat dog lets out a soft yip, and then barrels head first towards Louis’ pizza.

“Puppy, no!” Liam gasps, grabbing the dog just as it manages to get a pepperoni in its mouth.

“What the hell?” Louis demands. “Who do you think you are?”

Rat dog chews the pepperoni happily and looks Louis directly in the eyes as it does so. It feels a bit like a power move, really.

“Bella!” A voice shouts.

The dog’s head shoots up, the tags on its little collar jingling. Liam gently moves to read them and smiles.

“Oh, you’re Bella. Hello Bella, I’m Liam.”

Louis shakes his head. “Babe, I don’t think she understands you.”

Bella the rat dog barks happily and jumps out of Liam’s lap, across their blanket, and right to a pair of worn brown boots. Louis looks up, taking in the long legs clad in too-tight black jeans, a pink shirt with white polka dots, and possibly the prettiest boy he’s ever seen in his life. The man frowns at the dog, hands on his hips. His sunglasses are blocking his eyes, but Louis knows he’s quite clearly upset.

“Bella,” he says, and the dog has the decency to at least look a bit guilty. “Are you bothering these poor people?”

Louis raises his eyebrows. “Your rat dog ate my pizza, mate.”

Liam frowns. “Louis, don’t be rude.”

“She did eat my pizza,” Louis says, scowling at Liam.

“Just a pepperoni, it’s really not a big deal,” Liam assures him.

The man still looks upset, despite Liam’s reassurances that everything is fine-which it isn’t, Louis thinks, because that was his damn pizza. The man reaches down and picks Bella up, instantly looking hilarious. This tiny fluff ball immediately buries herself against his arms, her eyes just peeking out against the man’s biceps.

“I’m so sorry,” he sighs. “She just chewed through her lead, and I didn’t notice until she ran off. Is your pizza okay?”

Liam answers before Louis can. “It’s fine, she didn’t really get to it. She’s adorable.”

“Oh, thank you,” the man laughs, scratching behind Bella’s ear. “She’s a troublemaker, this one. I’m Harry, by the way. Thank you for finding her, I was worried she was gone.”

Harry looks genuinely upset at the thought of losing his dog, and Louis finds himself calming down a bit. Really, it was just one pepperoni, and it would’ve been much worse if Bella somehow found herself swimming in the East River. None of this, of course, has anything to do with how attractive Harry is, and how good he looks with Bella in his arms.

“It’s alright, really,” Louis concedes. “I’m not all that upset.”

Harry grins and holds Bella up in the air, holding her closer to the two men. “Bella, say thank you for finding me!”

Bella looks at Louis and promptly sneezes in his face.

“Oh my god,” Harry gasps. “I’m _so_ sorry, oh my god. I should just go before she makes it worse.”

Louis is about to say something witty in response, but then Harry takes off his sunglasses so he can tuck them into the neck of his shirt and-god. He’s beautiful. It’s been ages since Louis’ let himself look at anyone else, one bitter break up after the other leading him here.

“I’m Louis,” he says, talking over Liam before he can say anything.

Harry smiles, green eyes sparkling in the setting sun. “Louis,” he repeats, and he says it fucking _perfectly_. “I’m sorry again about your pizza. I can pay you, if you want-”

“No, that’s okay,” Louis quickly interrupts. “I’m just glad she’s okay.”

He could not care less about the dog.

Okay, maybe that’s not true, he thinks as Liam introduces himself. As mad as he was, or is, Bella is certifiably adorable. And so is her fit owner.

But before Louis can say anything else, the DJ abruptly stops playing. A muffled voice comes on to announce that the movie is about to begin and Harry looks over his shoulder for a moment.

“I better go,” he says. “But it was nice meeting you, Louis. And you, Liam. Bye.”

And just like that, Harry turns and walks away. Louis watches him go, following him across the field to a blanket towards the back. There’s a man and a woman sitting there, the woman immediately taking Bella into her arms and laughing at something Harry says.

“Lou.”

Louis whips his head around, instantly going red when he realizes he’s been caught staring. Liam smiles.

“What?” Louis demands. “I don’t like that face you’re making, Payno.”

“He’s _cute_ ,” Liam sings. “And British as well, what are the chances?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You should go talk to him,” Liam continues.

“Hush,” Louis says, reaching down for the slice of pizza Bella’s stolen a pepperoni off of and shoving it into Liam’s mouth. “The movie is starting, Liam. It’s rude.”

Liam grabs the slice before it can fall onto his lap and shakes his head. “I really do hate you sometimes.”

Louis smiles and rests his head on Liam’s shoulders, decidedly not thinking about the beautiful man a few rows of people behind him.

Part of him hopes to catch Harry on the way out. He can’t help but look for the other man when everyone gets on their feet, only to find Harry looking right back at him. The man at his side, some tall bloke with big hair, is putting Bella in a bag.

Harry smiles at Louis, just once, and then turns to leave.

It’s the kind of thing that happens all the time, Louis guesses. He stumbles a bit as he and Liam gather their belongings, having had far too much to drink.

The thing is, this is something Louis just does. He falls in love with strangers; on the street, on the train, through kitchen windows when he’s walking and should be minding his own business. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does to watch Harry just walk off into the night with the man and woman, all laughing and dancing a bit to the music playing in the credits. Louis will no doubt fall in love again tomorrow, some other handsome stranger taking the place of Harry in his mind as quickly as he appeared.

“Crash at mine?” Liam asks, slinging his arm around Louis’ shoulders. “I don’t…I don’t really wanna be alone tonight.”

Louis smiles and reaches up to gently pat Liam’s hand resting on his shoulder. “Of course, babe,” he says.

Because he doesn’t want to admit it, but Louis doesn’t want to be alone tonight either.

 

* * *

 

Louis usually zones out on the train. Sometimes if he’s got a good book he’ll read that, but more often than not he finds himself staring at nothing, eyes glazed over and fixed on the window, watching the tunnel walls pass by, black and dotted with orange lights. His mind goes blank, aware of nothing but the music in his ears and his own reflection.

He’s on his way to Niall’s new flat one evening, doing much the same, when something catches his eye.

A pair of fluffy brown ears popping out of a bag.

Louis frowns and looks down just in time to see a tiny dog staring at him from across the car. It barks at him, little face looking terribly familiar, and its’ owner quickly bends down.

“Bella,” Harry whispers, though it’s loud enough for Louis to hear now that he’s tugging his earbuds out in disbelief. “Stop it right now, we’ve talked about this.”

Louis can’t help but laugh, because this is _ridiculous_.

Harry looks up, eyes widening in shock. “Louis?”

“I’m beginning to think you’re stalking me,” Louis replies.

Sometimes New York seems smaller than any town Louis has ever lived in. It’s been a week since Brooklyn, and now he’s run into Harry on the 1 train of all places, Bella in tow.

The train comes to a screeching halt at the next stop and Harry gets up. For a moment, Louis is almost worried that he’s going to get off without even saying hello. Luckily, Harry picks up Bella’s bag and walks over to sit on the bench across from him.

“This is so crazy,” he laughs. “I can’t believe it.”

Harry looks possibly more beautiful today, which shouldn’t be possible since he’s wearing only a plain white t-shirt and black skinny jeans. It really shouldn’t be possible for anyone to look so good in something so normal.

“Thought you’d gotten rid of me?” Louis teases. “I’m everywhere, apparently.”

Harry smiles and gestures down to his overexcited dog. “I think Bella likes you,” he reasons. “She’s been leading me to you.”

As if affirming this, Bella pokes her head up out of the bag she’s being carried in and barks. She sticks her tongue out one side of her mouth and pants, all the while staring at Louis. Louis smiles at her, and he could almost swear she smiles back.

_Thanks for leading me to your fit owner again, rat dog. I owe you one._

Bella sneezes and lays back down in her bag.

“Has she missed me?” Louis asks, furrowing his eyebrows to seem as serious as possible.

“So much,” Harry sighs. “Cries about you every night. Her very first crush, you are.”

Louis smiles and then can’t help but ask, “What are you doing up here?”

Harry giggles, and it’s almost too much for Louis to take. “I live up here. Why, what are you doing up here?”

Louis lifts up the fancy looking wine bag he bought at the dollar store near his flat and shakes it around a bit. “Flatwarming,” he explains. “You don’t live in Brooklyn?”

“No,” Harry laughs, louder now. “Sorry, you just sound so shocked.”

Louis shrugs, trying to bite down on the smile that he can’t seem to tame when Harry laughs. “You seem the type that’s all. You know, lanky pretty boy with long hair. You probably wear man buns, yeah?”

Harry’s cheeks go a bit red. “Not anymore,” he says. “I was there with some friends of mine, my friend Lou lives in Bushwick. You don’t live there, do you? I mean, you don’t seem like you fit that type.”

Louis smiles and shakes his head. “No, I live downtown. Honestly, I’m not even sure where I’m going right now. I’m probably going to get lost.”

Harry frowns, looking actually worried that Louis might get lost-which is a bit impossible, considering the blocks are numbered. Still, he asks, “Where are you supposed to be getting off?”

Louis pulls his phone from his pocket and checks the text from Liam. “Two stops, I think, and then I’m just going to wander from there.”

Harry’s eyes light up and he gasps. “That’s my stop! I can help you find your way there, if you want.”

Louis raises his eyebrows. “You hardly know me,” he points out.

“I can still help you,” Harry says. “I don’t want you wandering around lost all night. Bedsides, Bella wants to help.”

Hearing her name, Bella pops her head out of the bag once more and yips happily. Harry smiles at her and reaches down to scratch between one of her ears. And really, how could Louis say no to that? A cute guy and his tiny dog want to show him around, having shown up completely out of nowhere like fate decided it. The answer is quite obviously yes.

They get off together two stops later, Louis following Harry out of the station and onto the street. It’s still light out, the last remainders of summer holding on desperately, the air just warm enough to be uncomfortable. Harry stops once they make it out onto the street and carefully scoops Bella out of her bag. She has a new lead, Louis notices, this one pink and glittery.

“She likes to walk,” Harry explains, clipping Bella’s new lead on. “It makes her feel big.”

Louis can’t help but laugh, especially when Bella does a little hop before she starts prancing along at their side, having to almost run on her small legs to keep up.

“You do know you look a bit ridiculous together, don’t you?” Louis asks.

Harry smiles. “Yeah, I know. Look at her, though, how could you say no to that face?”

“She is cute,” Louis concedes, despite his usual dislike for small dogs. “Do you take her everywhere with you?”

“Mostly,” Harry says. “She had a vet appointment today, though, so it was a special trip. I bought her a pupcake afterwards, for being so good.”

“A pupcake?”

“It’s a cupcake for dogs, Louis,” Harry replies, his tone obviously teasing. “You were very good for your shots, weren’t you Bells?”

Bella yips, hopping over a curb as they walk.

“It should be just around the corner,” Harry says, leading Bella and Louis down the street. Businesses are closing left and right, and Louis is starting to sweat a bit at their pace. He doesn’t want to admit that Harry walks a bit too fast for him, though.

“It isn’t that far from me, actually,” Harry says.

“Is it?” Louis asks. “Maybe I’ll have to have Niall invite you over, then. He’s an interesting lad, you’d like him.”

Harry laughs and shakes his head. “I’ve barely spoken to anyone in my building, let along down the block. But, I suppose if this Niall is as great as he sounds.”

“He is,” Louis promises. “We’re mates from school, me and him. He’s Irish, we kind of latched on to each other in halls our first year. We’ve been friends ever since.”

Harry suddenly looks really interested. “Have you lived here long, then?”

“Five years,” Louis replies with a shrug. “I moved straight here for uni and just never went back home. I think I’d like to someday, y’know? Have like, a family, or something. New York’s no place for a family. What about you?”

Harry shrugs, looking a bit nervous suddenly. “A month.”

Louis stops walking, tugging on Harry’s arm so he’ll stop. “What? A month?”

“Yeah,” Harry laughs awkwardly. “I just-I mean, I’ve always wanted to live here, you know? Me and everyone else I guess. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Louis is quick to say. “I just…one month. I mean, that’s hardly enough time to get everything done.”

Harry frowns. “Get what done?”

“Your bucket list, Harold, keep up,” Louis teases. “Your New York bucket list.”

“I haven’t got one.”

Louis balks at him for a moment, stunned. “You haven’t-Harold. Oh my god, this is _tragic_.”

“It’s just Harry, actually.”

“You need a bucket list,” Louis continues, ignoring him now. “You know, like the Brooklyn Bridge, all the museums, carriage rides in Central Park.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s horse abuse.”

Louis sighs. “Fine, no carriage rides. Christ, kid, I can’t believe you haven’t got a bucket list.”

Harry shrugs, walking again now, albeit slower. “I didn’t have the time to make one, honestly. I moved here on a complete whim. My friend Lou I was telling you about, we have mutual friends from home. I’m her nanny right now, and I was crashing at her place up until three weeks ago so-I just haven’t really had time to explore or anything, I guess. We’re here, by the way.”

Louis looks up and sure enough, they’ve reached Niall’s new flat. He can’t let Harry go again, though. He needs to help this poor boy find his way, and that’s certainly the only reason why he turns and says, “Can I have your number?”

Harry immediately beams. “Yes.”

Louis puts his phone number in Harry’s phone while Harry does the same. He gets it back to find _Harry Styles_ with a little dog emoji beside it waiting for him.

“Harry Styles,” he drawls. “Proper actor name, that.”

“Singer, actually,” Harry replies, a small smile on his face. “I know it’s cliché.”

“I think you’re the perfect sort of cliché,” Louis replies.

Harry bites his lip, and it takes everything inside of Louis not to kiss him right then and there. Instead, he takes the smallest step backward, finding himself instantly missing the smell of Harry’s cologne.

“I’m going to see you around, Harry Styles,” Louis says. It isn’t up for debate.

Harry grins, one little dimple poking in his cheek. “I look forward to it.”

 

* * *

 

Louis seems to sweep into Harry’s life like a whirlwind, stirring up everything and anything in his way. One day he’s just the cute boy from a film festival that Harry can’t stop thinking about, and the next he’s a presence that doesn’t seem to go way. Not that Harry is complaining, because Louis is the first real friend he’s made in the month he’s been here, unless you count his roommates.

Harry does not count his roommates.

They go out for drinks the next weekend at a bar downtown, some place Louis insists is his favorite. It’s dingy and dark with sticky floors, yet Harry feels welcome. They pick a table away from the noise of the people around them and he and Louis begin writing his bucket list. They drink, and laugh, and their suggestions just get more and more ridiculous as the night goes on.

“Dance naked down Fifth Avenue,” Louis practically shouts, before cackling into his pint. They’re trying to one up each other now, trying to think of something even more insane Harry should do.

Harry shakes his head and steals the pen away from Louis before he can add anything else. He’s already put _Climb the Statue of Liberty and draw a mustache on her face_ three times, and has started drawing stars in one corner.

“I want to go to Pride next year,” Harry says, having an actually serious suggestion for the first time in fifteen minutes.

Louis smiles. “You’d make me so proud,” he coos. “I’m always trying to get my students to do things like that, but they never do anything I ask them to. Little shits.”

Harry rolls his eyes and writes it down. “Maybe because you call them little shits?”

“They are, though,” Louis says. “Some of them are all right, but most of the time I kind of want to scream. They’re too busy drinking to do my assignments, not that I can’t relate to that. I suppose I’m just boring.”

Harry laughs. “I really doubt you’re boring,” he says. “I had some awful professors, you can’t even imagine. I don’t think you’re capable of being boring.”

Louis smiles and Harry’s breath catches in his throat. If any of his professors had looked like Louis in uni, he never would’ve passed.

“Thank you, darling,” Louis drawls. “I appreciate that.”

Harry feels his face heating up a little and looks away, pretending to be quite interested in the rim of his glass. _Darling,_ Louis called him. _Darling._

Not that it means anything, Harry is sure. Louis had called the bartender love, he calls every person he bumps into some different pet name-it doesn’t mean anything. Not at all.

Except- as much as Harry hates to be cliché, he so badly wants to fall in love. He wants to be Meg Ryan in every 90’s movie, walking arm in arm with a replaceable man through Central Park in the fall. It’s the hopeless romantic in him, the same part of him that had thought moving to New York to fall in love and write music was a great plan. The same part of him whose heart went wild at the sight of Louis that day in Brooklyn.

The man Louis was with still hasn’t been explained, though. Who knows, maybe Louis and Liam are married or something, or maybe Louis is straight and Harry is just really stupid. Maybe he should stop thinking all of these things about someone he’s only just met.

“Harold,” Louis calls, frowning at him when Harry looks up. “You zoned out. Focus on your work.”

Harry smiles and shakes his head. “Yes sir,” he teases.

Louis groans, leaning back in his chair. “Don’t,” he says. “Like, definitely don’t. Too drunk for that.”

Harry giggles and goes back to working on his list. As he and Louis get drunker, they get closer. By the time Harry has his full list of the fifty things he wants to do his first year in New York, Louis is practically hanging over his shoulders.

“M’tired,” he mumbles. “Come on, wanna come back to mine?”

Harry doesn’t know if that’s a good idea, but he says yes anyway. The bar is closing out for the night and people are spilling out onto the cobblestone streets. Louis shrieks out a laugh when they walk out, tripping over himself. He grabs onto Harry’s jacket arm and holds on tight.

“I don’t want you going all the way home this time of night,” he explains as they start walking. “Who knows what could happen?”

Harry laughs, hiccupping a bit. “I’d be fine, Lou, I go home late all the time?”

Louis scoffs. “And drunk?” he asks, incredulously. “I don’t think so, Harry Styles, not on my watch. You’re just a baby.”

Harry frowns. “I’m 21.”

“A child,” Louis continues. “You need someone to watch out for you. I’ll do it, don’t worry. We have to turn left up here.”

Harry shakes his head fondly and wraps an arm around Louis’ shoulder. They turn onto a quiet side street and Harry instantly feels too loud and too drunk to be here, stumbling around with Louis at his side. They walk up to a door squeezed between a tattoo shop and a Chinese restaurant and Louis starts looking for his keys.

“Hate my flatmate,” he mutters to Harry. “Always bringing these awful girls home, y’know? If you hear any noises, just ignore them, it’s better for your mental health.”

Harry giggles, resting his head on Louis’ shoulder for a moment. “I hate mine too,” he reveals. “What does that say about us?”

“That we’re better than them,” Louis says, finally shoving his key into place and snicking the lock open. The hall is dimly lit and Louis promptly leads them up three flights of stairs before finally stopping and again fumbling for his keys.

Luckily, Harry doesn’t hear any suspicious noises, and the flat appears to be empty. Louis smiles and grabs Harry’s sleeve, tugging him past a dark room and down a hallway. His room is at the very back of the flat, and it’s tiny, but not as small as Harry’s.

There’s a desk shoved in one corner, stacked with a mess of papers, and a large bed pushed up against the other wall. Louis gestures to it and asks, “Which side?”

Harry shrugs. “Either.”

“Just my type,” Louis teases, promptly taking his shirt off. Harry very quickly looks away and tries not to think about the double meaning of that statement.

Harry can hear Louis changing as he quietly sits down on the left side of the bed. It seems to be the side Louis doesn’t use, if the mess on the right side is anything to go by. It’s the side closest to the window, and Harry finds himself staring off into the dark until Louis speaks again.

“You can turn around, Harold, you won’t offend my delicate sensibilities.”

Harry does, only for eyes to go a bit wide. Louis is standing at the side of the bed, shirtless still, a pair of joggers sitting very, very low on his waist.

“Do you want something to sleep in?” Louis asks, dropping down heavily onto the right side of the bed.

”I usually sleep naked,” Harry blurts out.

Louis raises his eyebrows and then promptly smashes half of his face into the pillow, drunkenly laughing. “You're going to be the death of me,” he whispers. “You really are.”

“What?”

Louis rolls his eyes and moves a bit to make himself comfortable. “Go on then,” he says.

Harry slowly stands up, avoiding Louis’ eyes as he takes his shirt off and pushes his jeans down to his ankles, leaving him in only his boxers. Louis starts singing a weird sort of song that he probably intends to sound like Harry's stripping for him. Instead, he just sounds terribly drunk. Harry rolls his eyes and drops down onto the bed beside him.

“You're a ridiculous person,” Harry murmurs.

“Probably,” Louis concedes.

Harry smiles and closes his eyes for a moment. He must’ve fallen asleep, because he jolts up when he feels fingertips on his cheek.

“Sorry,” Louis says when Harry’s eyes flutter open. “I’m creepy.”

Harry shakes his head. “No, s’alright,” he whispers, chasing after Louis’ fingertips. “I’m…I’m really fuckin’ lonely, Lou. I’m surrounded by people all the time, you know? But I feel like no one sees me, I feel like no one cares. Sometimes I think it was an awful idea coming here.”

“Harry,” Louis whispers, reaching out again and brushing a thumb across Harry’s cheekbone. “I see you, yeah? It’s going to get better, I promise. It feels like this at the start, feels like this whenever you start over somewhere brand new. But you’ll get there, darling. It won’t always feel like this.”

Harry closes his eyes again, trying not to cry. He always gets emotional when he drinks, but it’s been worse lately. It feels like his only friends are Bella and the little girl he babysits for, Lux. He got Bella on a whim his first week in his new flat, needing something to break the silence, something to depend on him. His friend from home, Nick, had to fly back earlier in the week. He misses his mum, his sister, the friends he left behind.

It feels like he’s made a mistake giving up everything to move here and chase this stupid dream, yet he’s too proud to go back.

Before he can start sobbing, Harry feels Louis wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Louis tugs him closer until Harry’s resting his cheek against Louis’ chest. It’s probably too much too soon, but Harry will take any contact with another person he can get.

“I’m sorry,” Harry murmurs, feeling stupid. “I had a really good night with you, honestly.”

Louis laughs softly, the sound rumbling under Harry’s ear. “Oh, love,” he sighs. “You’re so sweet. I had a good night with you too, okay? I’m really glad we’re friends.”

Harry smiles and nods. “I am too,” he whispers.

 _Friends_.

He’s finally made a friend.

 

* * *

 

Harry has quite quickly become a problem.

After waking up Sunday morning, hungover, Harry sleeping on his chest, Louis hasn’t been able to say no to him. They embark on this crazy mission together to get done absolutely everything Harry has written on his bucket list. Louis soon finds himself hanging around with Harry between classes, taking both Harry and Lux to Central Park, the Brooklyn Bride, and every museum they can. And then, at night, they do the things they certainly can’t bring Lux to, exploring bars and getting Harry drunk off rainbow themed drinks.

Louis’ group of friends adopt him right in and it’s almost as if he’s always been there. Bella usually gets dragged along in their adventures as well, skipping along at Harry’s side on her glittery pink lead, looking excited just to be alive.

Harry being in his life isn’t so much the problem, not really. If anything, Louis thinks his life has gotten better for having Harry in it over the past month. But now the days have started to get shorter, and Louis convinces Harry more often than not that he doesn’t need to go all the way uptown in the dark, especially not on that awful bike he’s taken to riding around. Louis manages to play it off like he’s watching out for Harry, which he is, but it’s also because he’s a terribly selfish person.

He’s selfish for loving how Harry looks when he borrows his clothes, how he coughs loudly when they share a joint on Louis’ fire escape, how his cheeks tinge pink whenever Louis teases him. Bella stays over sometimes as well, and Louis has grown used to her cuddling at their feet when Harry inevitably ends up in bed beside him, even though the couch is always offered.

It’s actually surprising to Louis that it takes a month for the overwhelming urge to kiss Harry to finally become too much. What is surprising, though, is that it’s Harry who gives in first.

They’ve spent the whole Saturday together, both he and Harry having the day off to go out for ice cream and a movie they have both been wanting to see. It’s become less about the bucket list now, Louis has found, and more about just spending time together. He loves being around Harry, loves talking with him about anything and everything from music to the meaning of life.

They’re sitting together on Louis’ fire escape, a place they spend a lot of their time. It faces the back of Louis’ building and the back of all the building’s surrounding him, creating a little square of quiet that feels miles away from the busy streets outside. Louis is smoking and Harry has his guitar out, having to sit a bit too far from Louis for his liking to accommodate it.

Harry’s playing a soft tune, something he wrote last night. It amazes Louis how good Harry is, how quickly he can put a song together. His voice is incredible as well, and Louis is captivated by his little pout when he concentrates.

“I like that one,’ Louis says. “Should demo that, love.”

Harry smiles and shrugs. “Yeah, I might,” he says, his cheeks pinking up at Louis’ praise. “Do you think it’s stupid of me, coming here for this?”

“No, I don’t,” Louis replies quickly. “I think you’re brilliant, H, and I think you’ve done an incredibly brave thing following your dreams like this. I don’t know that I would ever be able to do something like that.”

Harry ducks his head down, smiling and obviously a bit embarrassed. His hair is growing out, Louis has noticed, curling around his ears and neck. Without really thinking, Louis reaches across the space between them and tucks a loose curl behind Harry’s ear. He lets his fingers linger far longer than they should, brushing across Harry’s soft skin as he pulls back.

But he doesn’t get to pull back, not really, because Harry reaches out and takes Louis’ hand in his own. They stare at one another for a moment and then Harry is leaning over and kissing him.

His lips are cold, as are his fingertips that he’s slowly trailing up Louis’ neck. He tastes like the mint gum Louis gave him earlier, smells like that perfect cologne he’s always wearing, and feels like everything Louis has ever wanted.

But he can’t do this.

“Harry,” he whispers. “I can’t.”

Harry pulls back, looking shocked. “But-I thought-”

“No, love,” Louis says, grabbing his arm before he can run off. “It’s not anything to do with you, okay? It’s me, I just…I don’t do relationships. I can’t.”

“Oh,” Harry breathes. His lips seem poutier than before, which really just should not be allowed. Louis wants so badly to kiss him again, but he can’t. He’s not going to hurt this boy that he cares about so much.

“It never works out,” Louis goes on. “I’m just a fucking mess, love, and I ruin everything I touch. I know we met not that long ago, but you’re becoming one of my best friends, H. I don’t want to ruin that.”

Harry frowns. He looks like he’s thinking about something quite hard, his eyebrows furrowing. Then, he reaches over and grabs his guitar. Louis watches in barely concealed panic as Harry carefully pushes the guitar back in through the window, setting it off to the side. He’s leaving, of course he is.

“Please don’t go,” Louis begs.

Harry shakes his head and reaches over to pull Louis towards him. He kisses him again, one hand wrapped securely around the back of Louis’ neck.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers. “It doesn’t have to be a relationship.”

Louis frowns. “What?”

“We can still be friends,” Harry continues. “Just, like, with benefits, yeah? Nothing changes, not really.”

Louis could almost laugh. Nothing changes, except adding sex into it. Surely that won't complicate things.

“You really think that’s a good idea?” Louis asks.

“I’m shit at relationships too,” Harry replies, seeming to get only more excited as he speaks. “I don’t think I want that either, you know? I like what we have, I like being friends with you and your friends too. Sometimes I want to kiss you, and maybe a bit more, but why should that have to ruin things?”

This is a terrible idea, Louis knows it, and he’s sure Harry knows it as well. They’re lying to themselves if they think this could possibly work out without someone’s heart being broken. But Louis cannot say no, not when Harry is looking at him with those smoldering green eyes, offering up something he certainly cannot understand. He’s young, younger than Louis at least, he can’t know what this is going to do with them.

“Okay,” Louis whispers, signing his life away with a smile. “It’s a deal, then. Friends, with benefits.”

Harry grins back and pulls Louis in, both hands threading through his hair. He climbs into Louis’ lap, wraps his legs around Louis’ waist, and kisses him. Every concern Louis had before is thrown completely out the window, and he can do nothing but pull Harry in closer, relishing in the younger boy’s little moan.

Harry pulls back, pressing their foreheads together. “Take me to bed?” he whispers.

He looks like an angel, Louis thinks, half hard in his joggers, pressed to Louis’ front, hair wild and eyes sparkling.

How could Louis possibly say no?

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write an AU set in New York since probably forever, and I finally feel like this is the one. Let me know what you think so far, I'm really excited about my plans for this. This chapter was kiiiinda like a prologue into the actual story :)  
> This is also the result of listening to "This City" by Sam Fischer a lot, so if you want to go ahead and give that a listen it's in the playlist!
> 
> I'll see you soon xx
> 
> [ rebloggable post](http://amories.tumblr.com/post/174650025647/this-citys-gonna-break-my-heart-by-amory) | [tumblr](http://amories.tumblr.com) | [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/amoriess/playlist/69sCgf6C1GjRdE13LT2s1k)


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